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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Advertisements

Since the blog has recently been getting a lot of views, i have decided i may start putting ad's up on the blog. i will put them at the bottom of the page, so they don't get in your way. just a quick way to fund for some remodeling in Mattlandia. UNLESS someone makes me a offer for personal advertiseing. (i would put a link at the bottom of each post)

'Penguin' parody of 'Baby' by Justin Bieber

You know you love me, I know you careJust quack whenever, and I'll be thereYou are my love, you are my heartAnd we will never, ever, ever be apart
Are we an item? Sandra, quit playin'"We're just friends," what are you sayin'?Said "there's another," and looked right in my eyesMy first love broke my for the first time
And I was like penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguinpenguinpenguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguin, penguin, penguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
For you, I would have done whateverAnd I just can't believe we're here togetherAnd I wanna play it cool, but I'm losin' youI'll buy you anything, I'll buy you any fish
And I'm in pieces, baby fix meAnd just shake me 'til you wake me from this bad dreamI'm goin' down, down, down, downAnd I just can't believe my first love won't be around
And I'm like penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguin, penguin, penguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguin, penguin, penguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
When I was 13, I had my first loveThere was nobody that compared to my penguinAnd nobody came between us who could ever come belowShe had me going crazy, oh I was icestruckShe woke me up daily, don't need no Penguinbucks
She made my heart poundI skip a beat when I see her in the tundraAnd at Mattlandia on the slip-n-slideBut I really wanna see her on a weekendShe know she got me dazin' 'cause she was so amazin'And now my heart is breakin' but I just keep on sayin'
penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguin, penguin, penguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
penguin, penguin, penguin, ohLike penguin, penguin, penguin, noLike penguin, penguin, penguin, ohI thought you'd always be mine, mine
I'm all gone(Yeah, yeah, yeah)(Yeah, yeah, yeah)Now I'm all gone(Yeah, yeah, yeah)(Yeah, yeah, yeah)Now I'm all gone(Yeah, yeah, yeah)(Yeah, yeah, yeah)Now I'm all gone, gone, gone, goneI'm gone

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

More Mattlandia

So, as many of you have heard we are experiencing some... technical difficultys with the pipeage in mattlandia. This is going to cost me a couple million pesos, which is ok because i get so much money from my atm setup. (i have a pipe connected to all the ATMs in the world, every second i get around 50000$
4500 pesos 5161 pounds 4613 Euros 723 Sheqels and  7322 Renminbi. and much much more. I currently own 32% of all the money in the world, and 5 times the us debt (16,488,020,100,142$ and counting! http://www.usdebtclock.org/)) I also get plenty of money from my... shopping district (you guys know what i mean) Anywho, i am offering tours of mattlandia tommarow, in case you want to come the sign up sheet is a couple of posts below.

NOTE TO HUGO! i looked up your name on the website and what it said wasnt exactly very nice (or approprite) so i will not be putting it up on this blog.


Thats the end of todays post, if you want to see more just ask me.

(editor) -Penguin Rowly
(creeper) -Penguin King
(thinker) -Penguin Critchton
(dreamer)-C.S. Penguin
(owner) -Matthew Spartacus Beiber 

some troubles with the post below

something has gone wrong with the below post.
i will fix it here..

A Matt (or just Mat) will make the best boyfriend/guyfriend ever. With their big brown eyes, and heart-melting smile it's hard not to fall for them. They are different, in a beautiful way. Even though they've had a bad past, you'll never know it. They are really strong people, and they change for the better. They are there when you need them, and they value their friendships. They like to look good, and dress well. Handsome, and charming. Very successful at life, make great Dads. Known to be players but when they meet that special girl, their sold. Matt's come off as tough and solid, but deep down, their soft side comes out and you see the sweet gentleman in them. They're not popular, but not a loner either. Friends love them, and guys want to be him. They have a really laid back attitude about themselves, but at the same time they can be the life of the party. Even though they can be a jerk at times, they mean well and are really the nicest guys ever. If you have a Matt, don't let him go. None other compares.
Example: Look at that Matt over there. He's so handsome.

Monday, January 28, 2013

The Definition of Matt

I found this deffinition of my name on the internet.. it is pretty much true, if you want me to look up your name and tell you what the site says, comment below.

A Matt (or just Mat) will make the best boyfriend/guyfriend ever. With their big brown eyes, and heart-melting smile it's hard not to fall for them. They are different, in a beautiful way. Even though they've had a bad past, you'll never know it. They are really strong people, and they change for the better. They are there when you need them, and they value their friendships. They like to look good, and dress well. Handsome, and charming. Very successful at life, make great Dads. Known to be players but when they meet that special girl, their sold. Matt's come off as tough and solid, but deep down, their soft side comes out and you see the sweet gentleman in them. They're not popular, but not a loner either. Friends love them, and guys want to be him. They have a really laid back attitude about themselves, but at the same time they can be the life of the party. Even though they can be a jerk at times, they mean well and are really the nicest guys ever. If you have a Matt, don't let him go. None other compares.
Example: Look at that Matt over there. He's so handsome.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Awkward situations needed!!!

hey guys... i am really tired atm and cannot think of what to say about mattlandia atm that would be funny. though since awkward situations isnt that hard to write, i would love it if you guys could leave me some awkward situations for me to comment on (see awkward situations original post)

-Matt
(owner,founder,comedian,badass)

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Science in Mattlandia

In the small town of mattlandia we do, of course have sectors for everything. Military, shopping, women, and more importantly, SCIENCE!!!
In mattlandia we have a number of particle accelerators that are making Dark Matter which i use to fuel my sorting machine. We also have a number of very smart penguins that are solving the meaning of life.

Awkward Situations

I was biking home from school today and decided that i wanted to make a "Awkward Situations" part of my blog. Awkward situations is going to be where you the viewer comments below with a awkward situation that i will give you advice for, tell you how that related to a event in my life, and than tell you what couldve been worse. DO NO WORRY this will not replace my mattlandia stories!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

should i get this shirt?

should i get this shirt
Emperor Penguins

100 page views!

Thanks guys for checking out my page and helping me get to 100 page views. Tell friends and family about the blog. And keep on checking out new posts every day :D

TOILET ROLL MAN!!!


just saw this whilest looking amungt the millions of pictures of women in egyptian costumes, trying to find one for me.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Tours Of Mattlandia

Come one come all to the wonderful town of Mattlandia!

Tours leave at 31/12/99 So book your tickets now!!!
You will need to bring a wet suit, goggles, and clothes you don't mind getting covered in crap.
Tickets are 10$ each (not including penguin food(if you want to feed the penguins))
Please do not bring any cameras or recording devices.
Please sign at the bottom of this paper saying that we are not responsible for you getting stuck in the toilet, or any other injures.



-From the (currant) mayor of Mattlandia
We wish you a safe(ish) trip!


Firstname Lastname ________ _________
Sign Here ______________________
Comments or questions______________

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Not Enough time

Hey guys, I've had a very busy couple of days. I may not be able to post anything for the next couple of days, also since noone has come on to vote on the polls bellow. i dont know what you want!

Vote!
-Matt

Saturday, January 19, 2013

viva la penguin

I used to rule the ice
ice would breack when I gave the word
Now in the morning I slide alone
across the ice I used to own

I used to eat the fish
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the walruses would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the fish
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of snow and pillars of ice

I hear South pole bells a ringing
Eskimo fisher choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my flippers and beak
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest quack
And that was when I ruled the ice

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the igloos to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
Penguins couldn't believe what I'd become

Polar bears wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear South Pole bells a ringing
Eskimo fisher choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my flippers and beak
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Penguin won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the ice

I hear South Pole bells a ringing
Eskimo fisher choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my flippers and beak
My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Penguin won't call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

Friday, January 18, 2013

Help me!!!

Hey Guys, if you are seeing this than awesome... you made it to my blog! If you could please do me a huge favor and fill out the polls at the bottom I can understand what it is that you want to hear, also if you have any  questions comments or advice, please post in the comments below :D

Penguins

As you should know, the residents of Mattlandia are all penguins that I have shipped over from Antarctica (flipping expensive!!!) then taught to do whatever I want them to do. Most of them I name after famous people... (like John Penguin Booth, The Penguin and Penguin Sheen!)... then have them do things that that famous person did. I have my miner penguins (blow stuff up awww yea!!!), my government penguins (at least it makes it less boring!), factory penguins, and of course my CIA penguins. (little penguins with guns.. so cute!!) Of course I occasionally have someone say that they heard penguins during class, in which case I take them down and brainwash them! Some of you may think that at some point the principal of our school would find out and stop me from doing this, but of course I am not a dumb citizen. I have him in on it too, a good 500$ a month will keep anyone quiet for as long as he/she shall live. Also please note the fact that I did not start the cave that Mattlandia is currently located in, it was actually made by one of the students a long time ago that wanted to have a cool hangout place. Once I found it, I took it over and brought in millions of penguins to work on everything so I don't have to do any of the work.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

The background and general story of Mattlandia

Mattlandia is a small city... (growing as we speak, so if you live in California and feel a earthquake, its probably my (not) highly trained miner penguins using explosives to make our city bigger)....that is around 20 feet underground Springer Elementary School. The only public access point is to go to the girls bathroom (in the upper grade corridor), go to the stall on the far right. Get into the toilet and flush yourself down. You will then go through a series of tubes to take you to the filtration system where waste (poop) is filtered from the people. I don't have to go down that hole because I have a elevator in a secret location. When you step out of the tube you will find yourself among a huge crowd of penguins. Unless you are with me, you will probably have a heart attack and I will have to have my penguins take you to my penguin hospital...(we also don't take insurance, only Penguin-care)...where my penguins will give you C.P.R until you are able to stand up and walk out of my cave. If you are with me than you can probably crowd surf over the penguins into the VIP section where I hang out, along with some very famous people (including Morgan Freeman, Miley Cyrus, and One Direction) and we drink Orphan Tears (see Youtube.com) and have a blast, during our partying I have a team of very intelligent penguins do my homework.

Thats all for now, if you have any ideas, comments, questions, or what you want me to say on here next please send me a email at Ufoplays@gmail.com or see me at school